


Teen Pregnancy Statistic

by DrabblingSparks (ingenious_spark)



Series: Saint Seiya prompts & short fic [138]
Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Bad Jokes, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Injury Recovery, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingenious_spark/pseuds/DrabblingSparks
Summary: Seiya is not going to end up as a teen pregnancy statistic. No matter what Jab (the asshole) says.





	Teen Pregnancy Statistic

**Author's Note:**

> From a batch of prompts I did over on my tumblr, [@oopsbirdficced](http://oopsbirdficced.tumblr.com). This was previously posted in a drabble collection 'Saint Seiya: Snapshots’, that I have chosen to take down and post individually for ease of access. 
> 
> (Originally posted 9-23-2017)

Seiya is exhausted and frustrated. This seems to be his default state since they had returned from the Underworld, Seiya barely hanging on to life by a thread. Ikki, dumb, stubborn and bullheaded, had tied their Cosmos together, granting him the burning life of the Phoenix. The doctors tell him that’s the only reason that he’s still alive.

Only no one had told them that  _apparently_ tying your Cosmos together, even just to sustain the life of a friend, creates some sort of weird psychic bond. One that  _apparently_ Saints use for marriage. Also apparently Gold Saints can retire? And Milo’s mentor and predecessor to the Scorpio Cloth has returned to Sanctuary to take up being Grand Master, after Saori-Athena had purified her of some weird brainwashing that evil Saga had done to her.

He  _thinks._

She’s gone now, but Jab is still lingering, clutching a clipboard and several folders to his chest and frowning at him. Seiya rolls his eyes. He’s breathing on his own again, he doesn’t know why he looks so worried.

“So, you ran off and got married at fourteen, huh?” Jab settles on, and Seiya glares at him.

“Thanks for reminding me. Technically, he married me, to keep the godly stab wound through my lungs from actually killing me,” he reminds his rival. Jab snorts.

"Well,  _this_ is awkward…” he starts, and Seiya knows that look. Unfortunately, he’s too exhausted to move. Jab shakes his head, mock-disappointed. “Married at fourteen, what will your parents say,” he sighs dramatically. Seiya grits his teeth, feigning annoyance. He’s actually trying not to laugh, because laughing still hurts like a bitch right now.

“I’m an orphan, you idiot, just like you,” he wheezes out. Jab continues as though he hadn’t said anything, wiping a nonexistent tear from his eyes.

“Just remember to practice safe sex, Seiya,” he reminds solemnly. Seiya can see the twitching at the corners of his mouth that means he’s also on the verge of cracking up. “I know you’ve had a crush on him since we were kids, but-”

“That wasn’t a crush! We were six, I looked up to him!” Seiya protests, words choppy and breath uneven, wheezing chuckles despite himself.

“ _But,_  remember not to let him pressure you into anything!” Jab talks over Seiya’s protests. “After all, Seiya,” he looks Seiya dead in the eye as he delivers the final blow. “You don’t want to become a teen pregnancy statistic.” he says solemnly. They stare at each other with utter stillness, before Seiya picks up his hairbrush and throws it at Jab’s face.

"Jab you suck!” He calls after the Unicorn Saint after he bolts, trying to calm his own giggles. His chest hurts like hell, but he does actually feel better, emotionally. “I’m a guy, I can’t  _get_ pregnant,” he mutters to the ceiling. A small, shocked noise issued from the direction of the door, and he lifts his head to stare at Shun. Shun looks bewildered and bemused.

“Well, this is awkward…” he mutters.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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